So, the husband and I were on our way home from Church, and we decided that there needed to be a theology paper writing drinking game (because those two things go together when you go to the Porch). We’ve come up with the following, ensuring that seminary students everywhere will either fail miserably or pass with flying colors, depending on how you handle your alcohol.
*Wandering the Desert takes no responsibility for poor grades, hospital bills, or otherwise negative consequences incurred as a result of this game.
1. Any time you use the words hermeneutics, context, exegesis, metaphor, rhetoric, allegory, or criticism, take a drink.
2. Any time you start typing in Greek (or Hebrew), finish your drink.
3. Any time you reference Jesus, turn water into wine, then drink it.
4. Any time you reference Luther, drink a beer, then complain about it to the nearest woman.
5. Any time you reference egalitarian (or feminist, et cetera) theology, drink the same thing as the nearest person of the opposite sex is drinking.
6. Any time you reference an Emergent theologian, drink a local microbrew craft beer.
7. Any time you reference a conservative theologian, don’t drink, it’s a sin and you’re going to Hell.
8. Any time you quote the NIV, drink a Coors Light, because that is what you are doing theologically.
9. Any time you reference:
- an Early Church theologian, drink wine.
- a Medieval/Renaissance theologian, drink beer.
- a 19th-20th century theologian, drink a scotch.
10. Any time you reference a non-white theologian, drink something foreign.
11. Any time you reference the Trinity, pour three different drinks, then pour them all in one glass, and drink it.
12. Any time you have a footnote that spills onto a second page, take a drink.
13. Any time you have more footnote on a page than actual content, finish your drink.
14. Any time you reference your prof’s favorite theologian, take a drink.
15. If you finish your paper more than twenty-four hours before you have to turn it in, drink ALL THE ALCOHOL, because this will never happen again and you need to make the most of it.
If you have any additions, please leave them in the comments. I’m looking at you, Rob.